Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Mother knows best
I think I have to pass on Colorado.
I've been in Oregon for one year, two weeks, and two days. In that time I've had a "real job" for about 6 weeks. Granted I quit it thinking I was about to move right into another job which I planned to hold until the end of next June. But still... this year pretty much has been a vacation. Why do I think I need to escape it for a different vacation?
Oh yeah, because I've been so stressed out and depressed that my grand plan didn't quite work out that it really doesn't feel like vacation. I'm in a gorgeous place with nothing but opportunity and what am I doing with it? Feeling useless and choosing to sit mindlessly at my computer more often than truly appreciating my temporary freedom from responsibility.
Why is it that when we are unemployed we stress about finding a job the entire time, and then when we get a job we regret not taking advantage of that free time to travel, camp, and play? Well I can't say that I haven't been fully ignoring that. I do play a lot. And I've camped a bit. But I haven't been able to really let go and enjoy it because there's always that pervasive anxiety about not working.
Oy.
It's funny to hear different people's reactions and advice. The younger they are, the more enthusiastically they say "Go for it!" But my mom is the one that knows me deep down. She called me out on my fears. She pointed out truths that I had been unable to admit even to myself. And she's right.
I need to stay in Portland. I moved 2,575 miles from home to follow a dream. I can't let my fears take over. I must not lose focus on that dream.
I've been in Oregon for one year, two weeks, and two days. In that time I've had a "real job" for about 6 weeks. Granted I quit it thinking I was about to move right into another job which I planned to hold until the end of next June. But still... this year pretty much has been a vacation. Why do I think I need to escape it for a different vacation?
Oh yeah, because I've been so stressed out and depressed that my grand plan didn't quite work out that it really doesn't feel like vacation. I'm in a gorgeous place with nothing but opportunity and what am I doing with it? Feeling useless and choosing to sit mindlessly at my computer more often than truly appreciating my temporary freedom from responsibility.
Why is it that when we are unemployed we stress about finding a job the entire time, and then when we get a job we regret not taking advantage of that free time to travel, camp, and play? Well I can't say that I haven't been fully ignoring that. I do play a lot. And I've camped a bit. But I haven't been able to really let go and enjoy it because there's always that pervasive anxiety about not working.
Oy.
It's funny to hear different people's reactions and advice. The younger they are, the more enthusiastically they say "Go for it!" But my mom is the one that knows me deep down. She called me out on my fears. She pointed out truths that I had been unable to admit even to myself. And she's right.
I need to stay in Portland. I moved 2,575 miles from home to follow a dream. I can't let my fears take over. I must not lose focus on that dream.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Adventure is nipping my heels...
I've just been offered a job...
...in Crested Butte.
And I want to jump at it, yes yes yes! Really there are only two things holding me back. Well more than two actually, but just two big ones.
1.) I need to maintain OR residency to afford school WHEN I get in this year. So I have to convince my wonderful landpeople to let me sublet my apartment (which I rent technically on a month-to-month basis) and find storage for most of my crap. Or just find storage for all of my crap and risk not finding a new apartment that's anywhere near as awesome a situation as what I've got now if I have to give it up.
2.) I'm attached to my doula group and don't want to let them down. And I don't want to miss out on all the births I would certainly get over the winter as opposed to maybe one or two private clients I might be able to find in CB. I need to prove my commitment to reproductive health so school will love me more than last year.
Pros:
I still don't have a real job here in Portland and there aren't any solid prospects since I'm being so picky. I'd rent a room and spend less than I'm spending now. I'd have a guaranteed job with people I know and trust and respect. I'd be living in paradise. I could celebrate the holidays with my sister, which I haven't done in 4 years. NO RAIN. If I do have to let go of my current Portland apartment, I can get a new one with more storage space, natural light, and room for a desk (cuz I'll be a scholarly type by summertime!!).
How did Kerouac put it? My feet are getting itchy.
Advice!!!!Please!!
...in Crested Butte.
And I want to jump at it, yes yes yes! Really there are only two things holding me back. Well more than two actually, but just two big ones.
1.) I need to maintain OR residency to afford school WHEN I get in this year. So I have to convince my wonderful landpeople to let me sublet my apartment (which I rent technically on a month-to-month basis) and find storage for most of my crap. Or just find storage for all of my crap and risk not finding a new apartment that's anywhere near as awesome a situation as what I've got now if I have to give it up.
2.) I'm attached to my doula group and don't want to let them down. And I don't want to miss out on all the births I would certainly get over the winter as opposed to maybe one or two private clients I might be able to find in CB. I need to prove my commitment to reproductive health so school will love me more than last year.
Pros:
I still don't have a real job here in Portland and there aren't any solid prospects since I'm being so picky. I'd rent a room and spend less than I'm spending now. I'd have a guaranteed job with people I know and trust and respect. I'd be living in paradise. I could celebrate the holidays with my sister, which I haven't done in 4 years. NO RAIN. If I do have to let go of my current Portland apartment, I can get a new one with more storage space, natural light, and room for a desk (cuz I'll be a scholarly type by summertime!!).
How did Kerouac put it? My feet are getting itchy.
Advice!!!!Please!!
Monday, September 8, 2008
and yet... somehow not horrible
As I clicked the link to Dr. Horrible's Sing-along-Blog I winced, assuming it would be a dumb waste of time. However, I was more than pleasantly surprised. In fact, I thoroughly enjoyed it and even laughed aloud. SciFi mixed with superheroes mixed with singing!
Neil Patrick Harris did a great job as the awkward villain and how can I not love Nathan Fillion from the Firefly series?
Honestly worth the 45minutes!
Neil Patrick Harris did a great job as the awkward villain and how can I not love Nathan Fillion from the Firefly series?
Honestly worth the 45minutes!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Gumby-girl
I've been into this new activity/exercise/play time called acro-yoga. It's a combination of partner yoga, acrobatics, and Thai massage. Verrrryyyy cool. I'm getting stronger and stretchier every day.
Check out my flickr page: these photos!
btw: that's me in the orange shirt, in case you didn't recognize my sculpted legs :)
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
The weather is still so nice...
...I just couldn't go any longer without a bike. So I broke down and bought one. I got it used on Craigslist, only lightly used because the guy's wife was too short for the frame. I must say that even though I paid a little over half of what my old bike cost, I definitely upgraded. I LOVE THIS BIKE. I'll probably say that every time I buy a new one (hopefully not too often). I was lucky the Nagys pitched in on this one (thank you!) so it didn't
hurt my pocket too terribly much. I bought it at 11:30 this morning and have been riding around all day doing errands, playing in the park, enjoying summer. It's light and fast! I almost don't want a rack on it to keep the lightness, but carrying all my stuff around in a backpack gets kinda bulky and sweaty. We'll see.
hurt my pocket too terribly much. I bought it at 11:30 this morning and have been riding around all day doing errands, playing in the park, enjoying summer. It's light and fast! I almost don't want a rack on it to keep the lightness, but carrying all my stuff around in a backpack gets kinda bulky and sweaty. We'll see.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Just when I thought the worst was over...
My beautiful new bike (and my old vintage bike) were both stolen from my back porch late Thursday night. I've never been robbed before, and let me tell you... it SUCKS. I sure am glad I registered it, and I filed a police report. But realistically I probably will never see it again. I'm really feeling sore about it. It was the most expensive thing I ever bought, and I had added all sorts of accessories. In the month that I owned it (so short!), I had already ridden hundreds of miles. It is a great freedom getting away from using my car. But thank goodness I have a car now that my bikes are no more.
My landlords and I think we know who took them, because a transient-type guy has been snooping around during the last week. Then, on Saturday night my landlord's lawnmower and our neighbor's mower were stolen. And sometime during the day Sunday, he came back for the carpenter's power sanders. My landlord has taken to carrying a wooden bat around, he even taped up one end so he doesn't get splinters while beating the crap out of our prowler. I suggested setting bear traps.
I also am getting a security home alarm system hooked up in my apartment in case this thief (or anyone else) decides to escalate to breaking in. I only have one door, so I'd feel more safe if some crazy alarms went off to bring Jeff and Susan running down while the cops are on the way. Hopefully that will never happen, of course.
Otherwise life is good. I'm taking advantage of my unemployment to hike, camp, and play while it's nice out. I'm really bonding nicely with my new ultimate team, and spending lots of time with my college buddy Ian who also lives out here. Dad came and had a really fun visit. We hiked and camped out in the Columbia River Gorge along Eagle Creek.
We saw some great waterfalls and had fun roughing it a little. Two weeks ago I climbed to the top of Mount St. Helens. Wow! Was that ever the most amazing feat of my life! It was brutal and wonderful. Click on the panorama photos I pasted together to get a better look. Two days after that, I rode my bike (sigh) to pick blueberries! and enjoy the beach on Sauvie Island in the Columbia River. Overall that ride was about 40 miles! Sunday I did a day hike around Mirror Lake, and up to the summit of Tom, Dick, and Harry Mountain. Great name for a mountain, no? We would have had wonderful views of Mt. Hood, but it was overcast to the point of fogginess. Still beautiful, though.
My landlords and I think we know who took them, because a transient-type guy has been snooping around during the last week. Then, on Saturday night my landlord's lawnmower and our neighbor's mower were stolen. And sometime during the day Sunday, he came back for the carpenter's power sanders. My landlord has taken to carrying a wooden bat around, he even taped up one end so he doesn't get splinters while beating the crap out of our prowler. I suggested setting bear traps.
I also am getting a security home alarm system hooked up in my apartment in case this thief (or anyone else) decides to escalate to breaking in. I only have one door, so I'd feel more safe if some crazy alarms went off to bring Jeff and Susan running down while the cops are on the way. Hopefully that will never happen, of course.
Otherwise life is good. I'm taking advantage of my unemployment to hike, camp, and play while it's nice out. I'm really bonding nicely with my new ultimate team, and spending lots of time with my college buddy Ian who also lives out here. Dad came and had a really fun visit. We hiked and camped out in the Columbia River Gorge along Eagle Creek.
We saw some great waterfalls and had fun roughing it a little. Two weeks ago I climbed to the top of Mount St. Helens. Wow! Was that ever the most amazing feat of my life! It was brutal and wonderful. Click on the panorama photos I pasted together to get a better look. Two days after that, I rode my bike (sigh) to pick blueberries! and enjoy the beach on Sauvie Island in the Columbia River. Overall that ride was about 40 miles! Sunday I did a day hike around Mirror Lake, and up to the summit of Tom, Dick, and Harry Mountain. Great name for a mountain, no? We would have had wonderful views of Mt. Hood, but it was overcast to the point of fogginess. Still beautiful, though.
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